I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Skulls&Crossbones! I completely agree with what all the other great, wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great, wise, wonderful advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it as much as you can if you want to! Do you believe part of the reason why you're feeling like this may be related to a lack of self-lover on your part? Perhaps you're trying to fill something in your life that's missing by finding other people to love and that will love you back. I'm so sorry, loneliness sucks! I believe it is important to work on ourselves first! Other people will never be able to fully fill the love we need if it's not coming from ourselves first! We need to accept ourselves and love ourselves first! We can't fully help others if we're not taking care of ourselves first after all! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! I hope things will get better soon for you and that you'll be able to feel a little bit happier and a little bit more content with yourself! Please keep working on yourself as much as you can and keep trying your best like you're already doing! That's all we humans can do after all and it's ALWAYS more than enough! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! Most importantly remember that YOU'RE NOT ALONE HERE! We'll always be here fo you if you need ANY kind of help, love and support! We'll NEVER abandon you! We ALL care about you! We ALL love you! Feel free to vent and write as much as you need to and want to! You know we'll NEVER judge you! I PROMISE YOU THAT! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings if you haven't already! Please DO consider it if you can! If you're already seeing one, good for you! I hope he/she will be helpful to you and he/hse will be able to help you get through all fo this because YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! You deserve to get better and to feel good! You deserve to live an happy, normal, fulfilling life just like everyone else does! You deserve ALL of this and much, much more because YOU'RE AWESOME, YOU ROCK and YOU KNOW IT! We ALL know that! I'm sure you know that as well even if it's deep down inside you! You're AWESOME! You're STRONG! You're a WARRIOR! YOU'RE AN AWESOME, STRONG WARRIOR! I BELIEVE IN YOU We ALL believe in you! I hope you'll be able to believe in yourself as much as we all do because ALL OF THIS IS TRUE and I'M SURE YOU KNOW IT AS WELL! You're a STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Skulls&Crossbones! You don't deserve to suffer AT ALL! Nobody deserves to suffer AT ALL, certainly not such a caring, helpful, kind, generous, gentle, supportive and sweet persone like YOU ARE! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!