To me, it matters. I spent so may years not understanding what was wrong with me. I didn't understand why I was feeling depressed, and thought I was just weak. A therapist I saw didn't want to give me a diagnosis, for some reason, and I thought it was because she didn't consider my situation as "bad enough". Which had me questioning myself, if it's not "that bad", howcome I feel so bad, and it contributed massively to seeing myself as weak and pathetic and hating myself. With a diagnonsis, I felt like it wasn't "my fault", so to speak.

One therapist told me, kind of mockingly (so I felt) that it was so popular with certain diagoses these days, implying (so I felt) that I just wanted one for people to feel sorry for me or something. That didn't exactly help. I wanted a diagnosis to understand what was wrong with me, and figure things out. To know if different symptoms were normal or not, or if it was't symptoms, just ME. I started being depressed around 14, and it made it so difficult for me to know what was me and what was the depression.

When I first read about complex ptsd (and the newest criterias of ptsd), everything just clicked, and I was thinging, "that's EXACTLY what it's like!" I felt so relieved! It showed me that a whole lot of things, like nightmares, not trusting anyone, some types of dissociation, self loathing +++ was actually symptoms, and not just me being weird. So I could finally work on stopping to blame myself. Giving myself some slack. Thinking this is normal, it's not just me, lots of people out there experience the same things.

I haven't been diagnosed with ptsd yet, just returning depression and anxiety disorder NOS. But I'm starting up in therapy again in may, after a one year pause, and then, instead of going in there saying "I have no idea whatsoever what's wrong with me", I can say "I think I have ptsd, can you help me figure this out".

But that about finding out I have a valid reason to feel the way I do, that it's not just me being weak, and that it isn't my fault, thats definitely the most important thing for me about having a diagnosis. So I could forgive myself.