I struggle with my fear of failure, fear of success, and fear of change also. I drive by our community college and something inside of me wants to take a class so I can come out of my hibernation. As soon as I start to imagine it as possibility my other inner voice starts in with all of the cons to doing it, it's not safe, blah...blah...blah. I constantly get in my own way. I would love to have a friend for once in my life, but I come up with a million reasons why it is better to not have others in my life. I know where you are. Good luck with finding your answer!