I was drinking that night. It's a habit I need to work on controlling better but I think, unfortunately early on, I associate most of my positive social experiences with alcohol, even though it's so rarely the case now. It helps to know that this is normal for sufferers of PTSD. I do think I need to find a better therapist. I'm working with a sliding scale facility right now that I feel isn't the best and she seems particularly inexperienced for dealing with someone like me. I'm thinking I might find another place and pay more for less frequent visits with someone who might know what they're doing a little better, at least concerning trauma. I'm working on getting on medication but my insurance options suck and I am physically incapable of communicating with people so seeking out the proper means to get the help I need feels impossible sometimes.