Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNightWhistle
You've all made some really great points. After reading them, that confirms that I don't have many genuine relationships  I do have a couple of very good friendships, so it's not completely hopeless for me but it makes me sad to realize that people have been using me for most of my life. A worse realization is that all of these people thought that I was pathetic enough to take advantage of. |
Introspection and reflection are a necessary part of our lives, when we need to take time to figure out what's working and not working in our lives.
It's good that after you took stock of your relationships, you've concluded that you have a couple of very good friendships. As for the rest of the one-sided friendships you experienced, let it go. Did you learn anything about yourself from those negative experiences?
Being a codependent, I had a ton of one-sided friendships because I grew up with the dysfunctional belief from toxic parents, that the only way to get people to like me, was to do things for them. Now, I'm nearly 50, and after lots of therapy, realize that belief I held really hurt me and caused me to pursue one-sided friendships, where people took advantage of my codependent personality and need to please, for their benefit.
I don't know if you're codependent but you may want to explore what your system of values or core beliefs are with a therapist, to determine why you find yourself in one-sided friendships with people. Once you figure out the reasons why you allow that to happen you can take the steps needed to stop that pattern with your interpersonal relationships. It's all about the pattern. The universe is made up of patterns, so it's figuring out which patterns benefit you, and which ones don't benefit you. Does that make sense?