It could be helpful if your wife's psychiatrist discussed what symptoms she's exhibited that lead him/her to their current diagnosis. Or if they're actually unsure, to say that straight out and say what makes them unsure. The fact is that some psychiatrists just don't have sufficient information to make a firm diagnosis. Sometimes they need to observe patterns over a longer period of time. Sometimes patients and/or family members put emphasis on concerns that may be confusing or misleading. I am not saying the latter is necessarily the case, but can be. Or, too often psychiatrists just don't dedicate sufficient time and effort to get to the root of patients' issues. Just as people make rash judgements about those they just meet, so do psychiatrists.

I agree with all of the good points others made above. Stigma and insurance coverage are major issues, and like others said, the proper treatment is the most important. Unfortunately, some psychiatrists don't provide or properly refer the best treatment. Various reasons contribute.

I think the term "personality disorder" should go. I don't think it properly describes the issues people with BPD, Schizoid, Antisocial PD, or other "personality disorders" deal with. In the case of BPD, perhaps it would be best falling under an emotional dysregulation disorder category (a term out there, but not officially found in the DSM-5). I think most in the personality disorder category would be under emotional dysregulation. Unless others disagree, that sounds more palatable to me. "Personality" in itself is far too prone to being labeled with "goods" and "bads" and to my point of view, seems to imply choice/possible faults vs. real mental illness. The term "borderline" is even stranger. Borderline what? On the verge of having a personality? On the verge of what? It's a lousy word choice, in my view.

If the American Psychiatric Association asked me, I'd be happy to work on the DSM-6. There would be some renaming and recatagorizing of a few things.