Hey UKDamon, and welcome.

OK, so you don't ejaculate during sex, and you like making others feel good, and giving them a good time.

Dude... That's the extreme, extreme version of me.

I do for others without asking for myself. I put myself out a lot, and say yes a lot, and I did that for my entire adult life, including with my partner and with my kids, because of three things:
1. it felt wrong to ask for anything.
2. it felt wrong to just relax and be myself.
3. doing things 1 and 2 made me vulnerable, and I didn't like being vulnerable. I'm the provider and caregiver, I'm not vulnerable.

You like being the give'er. Sex is all about vulnerability. You don't know what you're missing. It gets better when you let your guard down.

Why do people cry? Because there are chemicals in our body that are produced in response to stress Those chemicals show up in our tears. You cry to get rid of those excess stress chemicals. It's an actual physical way for your body to reduce stress.

Maybe you cry after sex because of the build up and release of these stress chemicals. Maybe you're stressed because it's hard to just relax and be in the moment. Maybe you don't feel safe being that vulnerable. Maybe some mindful meditation and practices during day to day activities, and then trying to just slow down and enjoy the moment during sex. Maybe ask your partner for things you want during sex and just let that happen for a while... "I really like when you do XYZ to me. It feels so effing good." Then let them do XYZ, and relax until you pop.

If you cry, you could just tell your partner, "I'm sorry. I have a hard time letting go of my stress and being vulnerable, and sometimes this happens after sex. It means it was really good for me, and I needed you to take care of me." Or tell them beforehand.

If that feels embarrassing, remember something.... No one has ever actually died of embarrassment. Maybe have a drink to help relax. Wine during sex is a good mix. If you have to, go see your doctor and get a few mild anti anxiety meds, something you can take as needed. They do this for people before they fly or before a big presentation or work event. Maybe you need something to help you relax the first couple of times.



Good luck. And the first time you really release into or onto someone with all that pent up energy... Good luck to them to. They're going to need it.

"Fricking UKDAMON busted so hard with me that it was like a mayonnaise grenade went off in the room. Dude was backed up!"



RDM