OK, Insurance thing. My T is out of network, and I pay him his full fee up front, then submit to my insurance for partial reimbursement. Insurance can take a few months to actually send the reimbursement (partially due to assorted clerical errors on their end, but I won't rant about that right now...) Since we got this insurance, they've reimbursed 60% of current T's, as well as ex-MC's and ex-T's fees. Ex-MC charged the same as this T. Apparently, starting this year, they now have a certain limit as to what therapists can charge and will only reimburse 60% of *that*, not their actual fee (H called and confirmed this). I learned this on a statement we got from them Thursday. What that means for me is that I'm now paying an additional $28 out of pocket per session than I was before. Which is pretty significant in general (I think it's around a 40% increase?) and particularly affects me when I'm going twice a week.

T had told me in the past when I was worried about layoffs at H's job (he was spared, thankfully) that he works with clients on fees if their income changes, and once charged a client only $5 a session for a few months when he was in a really bad way financially (he also has a statement on his website that he can work with clients on his fees depending on their financial situation). I emailed T Friday morning (after H talked to insurance company--wanted to make sure it wasn't an error) and explained what was going on, asking if he'd possibly reduce my fee by $25 for a few months so that I could continue going twice a week, then I could transition to once a week at the full fee.

I felt quite nervous about this, particularly what my emotional reaction would be if he said "no," even though it would of course be fully within his rights to do so. In reality, I could have just started going twice a week every other week (like twice one week, once the next, twice the week after...) and made cutbacks in other spending, so it wouldn't have been too drastic of a change. But it was really more what it would feel like to me, I think.

He replied that evening, saying he was willing to reduce the fee as I'd requested, starting with our next meeting. He also said that I shouldn't feel like I have to switch to once a week before I feel mentally or emotionally ready, which implies that he's OK with me having the lower rate for longer than a few months. Which felt really good to me. I mean, it makes sense, I've been seeing him 1.5 years (and am likely not going to be done with therapy anytime soon), I'm a very reliable client (don't no-show), and keeping me at a lower rater is likely better for him than having to drum up new business, even just for the second slot of the week, particularly because many of his clients are shorter-term (due to one particular focus of his business).

However, along with being grateful, I do feel slightly awkward about this and don't know how much to talk about it today. I worry a bit that he'll resent me for paying a lower fee, particularly if I opt to come for twice a week more than a few months. I wonder, if I only see him once a particular week, like if one of us is out of town or sick, do I offer to pay his full fee that time? Should I feel bad if I mention going out to dinner or show up in a new shirt, wondering if he'll be thinking, "She could have used that money to pay me"? But the idea was really more, I don't want all income beyond the basic necessities to have to go to therapy, I still want to be able to go on a date night with H, attend yoga class (which T supports--and they're like a net of $13.50 a class with a particular pass I get), etc. And I think T would understand that. But I don't know if I should bring up those concerns? I mean, for all I know, I'm one of his few clients who was actually paying the full fee, especially as he sees some college students. So maybe this is no big deal at all to him. And I don't want to make it into some big thing. I guess I'll just see how I feel today, express appreciation that he's working with me on fees and maybe not making some big deal unless he does. Or if, say, a month from now I'm feeling awkward about it.