A good quality I have, though, is that I am very responsive to encouragement. One pdoc diagnosed me as having "atypical depression." The hallmarks of that are sensitivity to rejection and the tendency to brighten up in response to positive experiences. That's me. I wonder how much better I could be, mentally, if I had a partner who didn't always act toward me in a way that exacerbates my problem. I help him . . . a lot. He should want to help me. He could, if he would just understand. But he truly doesn't understand. His dementia is worsening, so I have no hope that our relationship will improve. I'll just give more and get less. I guess that's why I'm burning out. I keep getting demoralized. I don't look forward to bringing him home.

Rose, I don't think what you have described is atypical at all. In fact, it pretty much describes people in general. Most all of us respond positively to encouragement and nurturing; negatively to vicious criticism and manipulation.

Also, not that it helps you in particular, but the whole situation in which you find yourself is sort of epidemic in our times. It's a big problem for a lot of people and families. The other day I read an article about the "sandwich generation", meaning those of us who are at an age where we have obligations both to grandchildren and to aging parents and loved ones. [SIGH....]

Carry on, Nurse...