Trigger warning because I am talking about a situation I am struggling to deal with and it might remind people of their own issues.

The greatest challenge of my depression is I don't know what is reasonable. I don't know what is an appropriate amount of a negative feeling. For example, I screwed up yesterday. I should have called home on Easter to wish my parents well. I didn't. In part because I was having a low moment of depression and anxiety and I needed to deal with that because I have to be strong around my parents. My parents have their own anxiety issues and we tend to amplify each others negative feelings.

However, it was Easter. I should have gutted it out. I should have called so my parents know that I love and respect them.

I called today and my dad told me my mom was upset and didn't want to talk to me. I don't blame her; she was hurt. I want to be accountable for my actions. But I feel so bad for not calling her, and I think some degree of guilt is warranted. But how much is too much? When does it cross into being unwarranted? Also, how do I apologize? I don't want to use my condition as an excuse and make her feel bad. That feels cheap. But I should be honest with my family.

Any advice or comment would be appreciated. Thank you so much.