I actually felt that way about my EX-H. He was diagnosed with adult ADD.....but it didn't explain all the behaviors that caused our marriage to have so many problems.
After I left him I moved far away. The T's I saw couldn't diagnose him.....but they suggested some possibilities. I actually encouraged him to seek more help. He was in denial.....but go figure..last summer we actually talked (after 11 years apart) & he said that thinking about what I had said made more sense.
Having grown up with dysfunctional parents who had no idea how to emotilnally connect I constantly wondered if there was more to relationships than the superficial feel I constantly lived around. I had norhing to compare it to since I was an only child & really didn't even know how to put words to what I was feeling. I learned after the age of 54 that there was more & have learned over the last 12 years.....never too late to work in those things we sense there is more to.
I hope you get the answers that will help you.