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saidso
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Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Europe & UK
Posts: 575
5 yr Member
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Default Apr 23, 2019 at 06:12 AM
 
Thanks very much Skeezyks, and I'm sorry that you feel exhausted most of the time.
It's demoraling: I feel like there are two "me's" = the brain me which has a list of stuff to do, and the body me which just waaaants to lie down all the time. To make it worse our local bus service has been diverted for the past two weeks, which means walking two miles to supermarket and back, to doctor and any other professional.
I've forced myself to ask for a call back from doctor today. I'm supposed to consult them when suffering acute asthma but since they are never available and since I don't acknowledge asthma is acute until I'm totally unable to speak, let alone deal with authoritarian doctors' receptionists.... Since all that, I keep meds to hand, consult pharmacy and take my own treatment decisions within the range of what doctors have explained to me.

Since I'm supposed to consult them, I'm doing so albeit after the event.
A friend tells me that it might be two weeks before I feel normal level of energy again.

I'm moving house soon, so the task list is more intimidating than usual.
I find it hard not to get tangled up in emotional/ mental reactions when I'm unwell but not actually hors de combat. So I entirely understand your suicidal thoughts. I keep trying to let go into accepting what is - and I exercise about one quarter of my usual amount but I do exercise. I am eating fairly ok (veggie stews that I don't need supermarket shopping ingredients to make) although not as healthy as I would wish.

I never felt this awful after an asthma attack before.

I don't expect to have the energy of a 20 year old but I don't expect to feel this bad!

Keep monitoring everything!

Saidso

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*"Fierce <-> Reality"*

oh god I am struggling today, help me to remember how to stay connected and human!

remember: the nut shell against human predators and my own fear!
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