Not really sick and tired of the people in my life, just their entrenched positions. I am stuck between a wife and a mother, neither liking the other.
Wife - been married nearly 30 years.
Mother - now in her 80s but still spritely. Sadly my dad died 10 years ago, so she is on her own.
On the plus side, my wife is happy for me to go visit my mother regularly. On the negative side, she won't allow her to come to our home at all. Big issue that has just arisen is that we (me, wife, kids) have booked a holiday to a destination my mother wants to go to, so she wants to come with us. My wife says I am not to even consider it, that if she (mother) comes then she (wife) will withdraw not only herself but the kids too. I have booked it all so can't cancel now and get anything back. If I decline my mother, she will hold it against me (and may remove my name from the will). If I tell my wide that my mother is coming, then I face the standoff and bad atmosphere.
Now y'all gonna say "you just need to talk to them both, reassure them both that you love them both" right? Neither of them believe they are in the wrong, so neither of them feel they need to have any conversation with me, and this is the response I get when I try to resolve this.
What do i do? If I reason that I married my wife, I have to do what she wants, then I alienate my poor widowed mother. If I side with my mother, then my wife gets the hump and refuses the holiday.
Why can't they get along? Advise me please.