Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
Well first of all the premise is faulty. Asking yourself how not to focus on your ex and move on is asking the wrong question. It automatically frames everything on the basis of what won't remind you of him and therefore keeps him in the forefront of your mind. It's not conducive to being able to move on, and forget. Also Idk why you're still friends but apparently your thinking about him a lot is a problem so I have to say regardless of how you feel about it, being in contact with him will also keep him in the forefront of you mind.
So my suggestion is to shift your thinking to what you stated already and that is to focus on finding yourself, your path and become independent. Instead of asking how not to focus on things that will remind you of what you had, ask yourself what it is you can focus on now that you're single and what would you really like to do for YOU? Frame all your activities on what you'd like to do, be and strive for and your brain has a funny way of making things happen. It is your slave in the sense that if you ask it the right questions it's sole job is to answer them.
hope that makes sense
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It does, thank you for the perspective. In fact, after I posted this I realized "forgetting and just moving on" isn't quite what I was going for, but rather that "just being myself" notion that you reiterated.
As to why we're still friends, it's complicated. Honestly things would have moved a lot faster for me, but we were living together and thus still in the process of sorting out our belongings. It also took him a long time to find a place to move into, and life just kept getting in the way... I think that's why the past few weeks have been so hard for me. I was expecting our interactions to end right away, but they sort of lingered (and still are). There was some codependency (mostly him depending on me) and issues with insecurity in our relationship, so I'm also trying to be mindful of that so I don't hurt anyone (I realize it's not my responsibility to make him happy, especially now, but I'm just keeping that in mind as a kind human being, you know?).