You're always blaming yourself. That’s the low self esteem. We are all tempted to do this. But hey, life is just going to hurt sometimes. Be on a quest to find those moments that make you feel good and do more of whatever it was that was good. Maybe some of the people from your old job would want to have coffee or something. I know everybody’s so busy. Use a hook like, “HeyI found this coffee place that has the most amazing . . .” Or I found a cat cafe. I’m throwing his in for a little humor. I’m a cat person. Hugs!