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I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, sarahsweets! First of all, let me tell you that I think you've chosen a WONDERFUL career and that I believe that whathever you will choose you'll be GREAT AT IT!! You're very PASSIONATE and that's the most important quality that a teacher can have in my opinion! I completely understand how you feel and what you mean. I'm struggling with my career choices as well Perhaps I'm not the best or the most qualified person to give you some advice. For your own sanity take everything I say with a grain of salt! I do believe that you need to think of the reasons why you've decided to pursue this career in particular. What made you decide to pursue Multiethnic Literature and Teaching? I believe that you may find almost exactly what you're looking for if you DID pursue your masters' degrees and DID decide to teach in college! From what you wrote it seems like the ability to decide WHAT to teach and the general freedom are VERY important to you so perhaps that IS the best career option for you if that's what you want to do! I'm sure you'd be great as a teacher in high school but you have to ask yourself if that's REALLY what you want to do and if that's the reason you've started studying Literature in the first place! Perhaps you may not feel completely satisfied if you DID decide to go to high school! Like you've already wisely said better than I ever could, you WILL hae to pay students loan either way! Since you have to pay EITHER WAY, I'd say it's more important to spend those money doing something that you're AT LEAST reasonablu sure that you will LIKE if not LOVE doing in your future, right? I feel like THAT'S something to seriously consider it and to think about it! Of course ALL OF THIS IS JUST MY OPINION!! Of course ALL of these ARE just conjectures and it IS just MY opinion so I don't want to give to you a definitive answer because I feel like that'd be dishonest and I feel like that's YOUR decision! However from what you wrote it seems to me like you already know in your heart what the "right" decision is and what you REALLY, TRULY want to do with your life! I don't want to "force" you to take any decision that doesn't come from within yourself though and I don't want to "force" anythin on you or to say to you that there's a definitive "right" and "wrong" answer because that's NOT the case! Whathever you decide to do, sarahsweets, WILL BE THE RIGHT DECISION because YOU'VE MADE IT! The final decision is up to YOU and ONLY YOU, SARAHSWEETS! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! I'm so sorry if this post hasn't been very helpful to you! I've just wanted to give some of my thoughts to you! Just think about it and let us know what you DO decide to do in the end, ok? I'm sure that WHATHEVER you WILL decide you'll be GREAT at it and that you'll be a WONDERFUL teacher and I'd be so HONORED to have you as my TEACHER, SARAHSWEETS! I'm so PROUD of you for YOUR GIANT STEPS THAT YOU'RE TAKING and I hope you're PROUD of YOURSELF AS WELL! Please keep us updated as much as you possibly CAN and let us know what you DO decide to do in the end, ok? YOU'RE AWESOME and YOU ROCK! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! Sending many hugs to you, sarahsweets!