Now we are in the territory of my intimacy issue! These Amy Winehouse lyrics says it well:
The only time I hold your hand
Is to get the angle right

You touched upon feeling like what gives you pleasure your partner will think is gross. Unless that involves something so far extreme, that’s really not accurate. They don’t think it’s gross, just the opposite, it turns them on to see you pleasured.

You touched upon thinking what you like cannot physically work with a partner. There may be other positions and ways that a partner can please you. Toys are ok to use too.

I personally feel that I don’t have to have an O every time, but mostly with partner, yes. We both get fully satisfied and this solidifies our love and relationship. To me, this is essential.

Intimacy is not for the faint of heart.