Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear
It doesn’t matter..
I don’t matter
It’s my fault ....
It always was
They can’t mend a screwed up stupid ***** like me 
I don’t even deserve a “hug”
I pollute everywhere I go
Thank you all for replying. I only got what I deserve... rejection and being blamed for my problems by an expert. They are “right” to help others since I’m not deserving. It’s ethical to give help to those who deserve it, I don’t  and I deserve no explanation aside from being blamed by them |
Fuzzy -- THEY are screwed up. Maybe you somewhat, too, but so what -- you're a client, seeking therapy. THEY, and their system, are screwed up because they can't help and then they do things like this to you.
Emotionally, that may not make sense -- been there, done that, couldn't make sense to me either.
Except that -- logically -- can you see that that's true?
I lay on my sofa 3 years ago, after my last shaming, rejecting response from my last T, in a similar state to what you are writing about, and somewhere, despite that, some logic showed through. Finally. Didn't help a lot at the time -- maybe, because it's like "what am I going to do if it's THEM who are screwed up? The people I am going to for help?" But, over time, the logic has persisted and the feeling state has lessened.
The whole situation really sucks. They need to do something to fix it. They aren't.
Hope maybe something, out of the blue, shines through for you, too, before long.
