Quote:
Originally Posted by Nowinners
You posted this in the depression forum and we focus on these kind of feelings more when we are depressed.   Plus, many of the people on this forum have few friends IRL.  I recall you were married (?) but the relationship was rocky. You both struggled. Did you leave him or are you still with him?
I am sure people generally like you on here but here. You are sweet and kind and have always helped people on here who are in the most distress. 
Speaking from the POV of my own struggles--sometimes I am not that reliable because I have a mood disorder. Some days I have the ability to cheer people up and make them feel loved. Other days I am a real downer. I have made the decision to focus my attention on my husband and children. I am also trying to work more. There are so many posts on here and I am trying to only "look" once a day (though I peaked more than once yesterday) because this place became a real distraction. I only have so much time.
You are worth caring about but there are probably many here who care and also feel like no one cares about them (especially in this forum). I have learned that it is best to lean on IRL people. I also remember you are stranded without a car. Perhaps this is effecting your ability to connect with people IRL? I first came to PC in June 2016. My username was Mysterious plus a number and I read enough of your posts to get the feeling that you are a very likable person. Sorry you are in such a funk.  |
It sounds like it has been a few years since you read my last post. Back then I was in a situation with 0 real life friends, no family that would speak to me, no car, no finances to speak of, 3 dogs, and a psychologically n emotionally abusive husband ... that was back when I very first joined this site. Shortly thereafter, we got a car. It wasn't too long after that I had a complete breakdown and thus decided to leavd my husband and go to a shelter. About 2mo later - the shelter sent me for a suicide eval, I passed that, but my chest was hurting so they kept me for observation. When they discharged me - the community buses had stopped running. We (shelter residents) were not allowed to take taxis , so I called the shelter. The shelter claimed not to know where the hospital was. So - I called a taxi for the only other place I knew - my ex-husband. The shelter kicked me out. We ended up getting back together. We got remarried. Been remarried about 2yrs.
Now - I was good for a long while. People literally started treating me different. You can check my profile and you will notice huge gaps in posts .. very few are about me, and the amount of time I was here was just a few days. Yes, I did focus on my husband n I - however, sometimes a person needs support. And like I said back then .. these are not the type of people to make friends with - however I noe think its like that everywhere. We have moved twice since then n everywhere we have gone people have proven to be untrustworthy users that like to steal or worse.
Now - of course I posted this in the depression forum. It is depression I am feeling. However this is a type of depression I have not felt in the past. I realise the symptoms and the consequences of it but does that mean I cannot speak on things that are my reality as well as those things that are how I feel .. or am I meant to keep them in? I am sorry I sound angry but so many are shutting me down when I try to talk or correcting me when I say its one thing and they say its another. I just want to be able to express myself ... not feel muted.