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Skull&Crossbones
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Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 280
5 yr Member
Default Apr 24, 2019 at 12:30 PM
 
He also was not willing to be uncomfortable for my sake, which fair enough. He just had a tendency to shame me for sharing something I would be interested in (instead of just saying he wasn't comfortable) so I stopped sharing what I wanted to try. There was something we would have both been interested in but it needed more discussion before I felt comfortable trying much but whenever I would try to start a conversation, the answers were always "I don't know". Not in a dismissive way, but that he really didn't know and apparently wasn't able/willing to think about it. I guess I'm one to talk...I couldn't find a way to accommodate his fantasy without it crossing my boundaries. There were ways to go about accommodating him, but there was just no rush to make it happen I guess.

I don't know...I would just like to have a truly good sexual experience once where I can really talk about it and not feel like some monster for wanting anything past the very basic. Or that I can actually feel connected to my partner...sex so often made me feel alone and disconnected. He couldn't even get anything accomplished with toys and I tried to show him.

Just overall, I'm tired of crying all the time. This can't be good for my sinuses or my head. I just want to connect to people and experience love and sex like other people get to. I don't understand why I have to be in a place of deserving it first. I'm a kind, loyal, useful person, why isn't that enough?
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