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eskielover · Apr 25, 2019 at 08:50 AM

It is really hard when we have never learned to place our value of ourself within ourself & not in the hands of what others think.

I said it is hard....NOT impossible. It takes a lot of changing of our own mind set (neuropathways in the brain) which takes practice & repetition & in doing that we will piss them off even more because they like us the way we are because thst is the oerson they have control over.

We basically have to be glad we are pissing them off because that finally means we are caring for ourself. Sometimes even that concept we have to learn to become ok with.

Not an easy task but it does work. I couldn't do it in the environment (marriage ) I was living in because he was part of the problem not the solution....but your pappa bear is supportive of you.

DBT was my greatest therapy help along with the amazing community I moved to. Both helped open up my door so the real me thst had been buried was finally able to come out.

But also I always had a personality type that learned to stand up for myself because no one in my family was capable. Only problem was that turned into anger because it wasn't developed properly & that was an issue of it's own I had to learn to deal with.

We have to adapt any change to what will really work for us as an individual.

.....but it is possible