Here it is 3 in the morning and I can't sleep even though I'm tired. Tonight I'm obsessing over a mattress I bought 3 weeks ago that has turned out to be too firm. I can get 1 exchange and that's it. I don't feel nervous but I know this is anxiety. The older I get the worse aspects of my mental illness are. I take 4 psych meds and often sleep 12 hours because they make me tired. Well on nights like these even with the psych meds no sleep. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm glad that I'm closer to the end of my life than to the beginning. Being mentally ill for 47 years has been no picnic and it's exhausting. When I get spun out about something the insomnia hits. Or there have been times when I fall asleep for a few hours and then wake up. Occasionally when I get really happy it flips over into anxiety. I just needed to vent and it's way too early to call a friend.