“I'm still too shy for one-night stands with strangers though unfortunately.” Good! That’s not being shy, that’s having self esteem.

Are there local gay bars near you? I recall going to one where I grew up when I was in my early 20’s. I went with a friend who was bi. It was very busy and it seemed like a nice scene. I even got hit on.

I agree, you had one lover who was lousy. Don’t give up hope.