I go to the local gay bar and gay/bi hangouts/meetups already. I don't get hit on or flirted with. Most of them are married/taken anyway. The only other choice is the gay club, but I don't dance. I could be the person who saves seats/watches stuff/DD for other people and sit there while they have fun.

And I already do have students. I just don't have the certification to be the full-time teacher, so I'm the assistant. I rarely found anybody on the sites I've used. I wouldn't know what to say if I did and if I came up with something to say, they wouldn't respond. I am really uncomfortable with the entire concept of online dating. I need to know if I feel comfortable even talking to someone first and I can only find out if I meet them in person. I'm not comfortable sending people messages online. I don't get anyone with a genuine interest in the messages I receive. There has to be another way than online. Even if I did put a profile up, I'm not going to find someone before I have a full-time job and certainly not before student teaching in the fall. I'd probably have to the have the profile up a year or two before I even had a date.

This is probably all just useless. I thought I was cute at least, but I must not be if I'm so rarely getting hit on. Besides, my ex dumped me because I'm so awful that he'd rather just be lonely. Why would anyone else want me if I'm that bad?

I don't think anyone on here understands what it's like to be shy. Or to never really be part of a group. To always be the appendix of every group you're in. For a few years, I had a person that gave me a chance and was somehow attracted enough to me to date me. It just seems so surreal. I never even thought I would experience dating. I guess I'm asking way too much for it to ever happen again.