Ha, that was me.

One other thing that has helped has been the idea of creating my own space away from my former therapist, rather than hoping to re-enter his. A lot of the hurt came from being pushed out of 'his' space -- I was denied a final session and my very fair Google reviews on his business page were deleted and immediately replaced with positive ones by who I think is his supervisor (which strikes me as completely disingenuous).

So I took out a WordPress blog that has only one very long, detailed post of everything that happened in my therapy -- the excellent early sessions, the crappy final ones where he completely failed. I shut off the comments so he couldn't respond and enter MY space. That blog comes up as one of the first hits when you search his name.

It stops the anger I felt that my therapist could simply cut me off and just move on. Because now he can't -- he can push me away, but he can't tear down the space I've made without him. Anyone doing their due diligence can read it, and while I don't think it would discourage many people from seeing him (it's a very fair post), it allowed me to take back some of the power I'd lost. I know there may well be the odd person who might not see him, or can spot the signs when it's time to get out earlier.

I don't know if any of that would help you. You seem to spend a lot of time thinking of when she pushed you out, and what it would be like to be back with her. What if you set up your own space (online or mentally) that she would probably want some control over, but can't enter?

I'm sorry you're still struggling.