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Ever have a hard time believing you did something? I was recently ip for 35 days for suicide ideation and psychosis. My dx was even changed to sza bipolar type, depressed episode.

While there I just wasn’t getting better despite med changes. One day I told my nurse how the voices made me want to hurt myself. They stripped my bed. Later I was isolating And laying in there. A tech brought me new linens without me asking.

I laid there a while Longer before attempting to hurt myself. Lame attempt I know but I was desperate. A tech came in and found me. They freaked. Took my vitals and my blood pressure was apparently way off. I was so dizzy I could barely talk. They almost called an ambulance (thank God no!)

I spent the rest of the day on precautions where I had to sit at the nurses station beside a nurse all day, I had to be escorted everywhere including to get a drink or pee. I had to stay in sight like that for several days.

I learned my lesson. It was shortly after that my pdoc suggested ECT. I agreed. I did 5 sessions inpatient and just did a 6Th maintenance outpatient and wS released. I can call pdoc for prn ect if I need it.

I just can’t believe I did that,

Stupid