Is there one person you could trust with your secret? A close friend or family member? If you could come out to just that person and feel safe, or relatively safe, it might help. Otherwise, I'd say to do what you're doing and find support online. You aren't alone in how you're feeling.

I don't know your situation with family or your age, but even if you don't feel safe to come out know, it won't always be like this. There are people who can help and online support groups to help in the meantime. Maybe 7cups.com or emptyclosets.com or a private/closed group on social media?