Though 'they' say adolescence ends at 24, I truly believe that it takes two to tango and that though teenagers into young adult are the responsibility of parents by what the law says, kids do form into their own people during these years and frankly, they do play a part in the functioning or non functioning of the family structure. And it could very well be a first world guilt trip on parents? Teens rebel against parents everyday and in almost every home. Whether big or small rebellions, is unique to each family unit.

Soooo...stop beating yourself up. There's more at play than just parenting. How fortunate for those that rarely struggled with their older child. Good for them. Don't let their judgement hang like a rainy day cloud over your head. Kids fail well intentioned parents every day. Kids squander the land of opportunity every single day. You've done your best. You've done what you've felt right in your heart.

My only suggestion is to stop accepting their blame of you. They've played their parts.