Honestly -

My dad used to tell me things like I was a disappointment, a quitter, would never amount to anything, a failure, stupid, etc ..

He wasn't the only one to tell me those kinds of things back then either

People my age told me I was ugly, weird, etc

Later in life .. those things were repeated to me plus things like "you really are just a b****" and etc

Did I believe them to be true?
Yep - I had been told it since my preteens, why wouldn't I?

Did that make it fact?
No - things are only fact if they are undeniable truth after proofs are given and found as undeniably one way or the other.

The things said about me were opinion, not fact - but - I had heard it so often over such a long period of time, I came to accept it as fact. That is how brain washing occurs - and is the principle behind abuse.

Reversing the damage is harder than creating the damage - and the damage does not occur "overnight" - but it can be done. The first thing is to force yourself to deliberately tell yourself exactly the opposite of what your abuser (s) told you - until you stop believing what your abuser (s) told you. Second - is to look at yourself and decide what things you like and don't like - not bc others like it or don't like it, but bc you do or dont. Keep the things you like, just as they are. Look at the things you don't like and decide which (if any) you need to completely do away with, and which you just need to change. The ones you decide to change - figure out what would make you happiest n how to make it that way. Finally - allow yourself to make mistakes. Give yourself permission to continue to change and learn and grow. Love yourself.

People's opinions of you - are their own. Their opinions are their responsibility to keep or change, not yours. Your responsibility is simply to live as best you can in a way that allows you to love yourself while hurting others the least you possibly can - bc whether we like it or not, we will all hurt others in some way at some point.

❤