A person who cries every morning is not a person who has no emotions. Slow down and hear yourself. You are contradicting yourself. That's okay. You don't have to be perfectly consistent. But listen to how you are kind of double-talking. Then slow down.

You've lost a husband and a friend. It's a huge loss, but you've had some time to get used to it. You see that life does go on, though it may feel kind of empty. It will take time to fill that emptiness. Maybe a lot of time.

Don't be in a hurry to be back in a relationship. It sounds like you are not rushing into the arms of a new man, and that is good.

What you had was an illusion of being in a committed relationship. He was not committed. Now you know. You didn't lose a wonderful marriage. He was not a wonderful husband. You got fooled. It happens to the best of us.

I'm glad you have family that care about you. But you are right. They won't be around forever. You will need friendship in your life. I believe you can find it. There's a good chance you might even find love again. Don't focus mainly on men. Take an interest in the women you meet and be open to friendship. Some women don't have the capacity to be great friends. Accept people's limitations. You can have "minor" friendship with some. A friend doesn't have to be a very close friend to be worth having something to do with. Be open to different levels of friendship with different women. I'm not saying you can't be friends with a man, but that gets tricky. Do things with neighbors, with cousins, with whomever. But take an interest in people around you. Don't be impatient. Sometimes life moves ahead slowly. That's okay. Slow down your thinking.

You sound like a nice, young woman. There are nice people in the world around you who would enjoy getting to know you and who would value you. You just have to meet them. The more you circulate, the better the odds of you bumping into the "good ones." That's what statistics tells us. If you meet enough people, some will be good ones AND some will be bad ones. You're going to meet both kinds.

How do you tell "the good ones" from the "bad ones?" T i m e, and more t i m e. The only way to know someone is to spend time around them. Don't be in a hurry. Some people can seem so charming, you just want to trust them right away. Don't! Be slow to fully accept, and slow to fully reject. Spending time with someone means in their physical presence. Texting and emailing don't count. Don't rely on the Internet. Those ways of meeting people in cyberspace create illusions. You don't want to go back into another illusion.