Hi all,

I’m new here as I haven’t focused on this area of my therapy and self-work. I have a tough question and wanted to see if anyone here had any knowledge or resources about the following scenario (or if it is even possible):

First, some background - I’m an educator who ended up completing a PhD through which I became very aware that my mother suffers from borderline PD and my older brother (I’m youngest of 2) is Narcissistic PD. Obviously, they are undiagnosed but that tends to be common due to the external blaming nature of Cluster B disorders.

Now, my question - when I first went to therapy over a decade ago, after one of the initial sessions my therapist gave me some information of adult children of alcoholics. I found this confusing because I had never seen either of my parents drink. I was told my father was a raging alcoholic who struggled mightily but gave it up when I was born and started a successful business. My brother confided that my father continued drinking when I was very young but I can confirm that he hasn’t touched anything in at least 25 years, if not more. However, I exhibit most of the characteristics of an ACOA. I’m curious - can a former alcoholic who has seemingly fully recovered still act in a way that can cause ACOA traits in a child?

I’d appreciate any advice or knowledge that the community might have. I had previously viewed my father as more of a co-dependent to my mother - the ‘good guy’, if you will. My family has hidden much truth from me my entire life and I’ve been the scapegoat of sorts - that is how they (unknowingly) justify everything. I took a break from my research into family for a year or two and focused on work, life, etc. I’m looking forward to interacting with this community