Thanks for your response @BrittyBird. I actually think that advice is pretty darn good. I appreciate people like you who are able to tell the truth and not be ashamed of it either! I relate to all of these experiences because all throughout college I’ve felt an obligation toward climbing the social ladders in various groups I was involved with or reach out to other people to support them. But the lesson I’ve learned comes in questions: Is it really so worth trying to please people that you’re willing to hurt yourself in the process, even for those you barely know or who won’t appreciate your efforts?

Thanks for your thoughtful reply @KD1980. The old phrase that someone must love themselves in order to love others is one that is frequently used, but sure enough it’s so true in our interactions. In my case before learning about the power of personal boundaries I’ve been nice to others, but generally not nice to myself. I still struggle with this, but these forums and my counselor have helped me to appreciate who I am. I am also glad to find someone who validates that niceness and assertiveness aren’t mutually exclusive!