Hi Autumn4689,

I see you are fairly new at PsychCentral. I want to say welcome.

As far as your plight goes... To answer your question in short: effectiveness of medications depends entirely on the individual taking them. (What works for one, may not work for another). I took them for years and they never helped the core trauma issues; those issues persist even today.

How can medications stop your suspicions when those suspicions are completely logical and CAN happen? Perhaps the medications can damper the intense emotions that result from those suspicions, which could prevent a large scale argument from occurring - but odds are your suspicions would remain regardless if you were taking medications or not.

Bare in mind that your assumptions / suspicions can be found in every relationship, whether you have BPD or not. It is extremely easy to invalidate ourselves and pathologize, rather than accept our own fallibility as being a part of the human condition. I don't know a single human being who hasn't felt (at some time) like someone lied to them. On one hand, it can be seen as a detriment to the relationship if the thoughts are untrue, but on the other hand it could be seen as VITALLY important information if it is true. Either way, there is nothing wrong with having feelings or thoughts and there is absolutely nothing wrong with approaching your Significant Other and asking for clarification when you feel uneasy and require reassurance.

The important thing is that we do not assume. Until we know the facts, we have to fight so hard not to react, otherwise we risk sabotaging a relationship and winding up alone.

Your triggers led you to believe that your Significant Other was lying to you. Before you jump to the conclusion and label yourself as delusional, be careful not to invalidate yourself. Whether or not your SO is lying to you is extremely important, but the fact that you thought this was happening is not necessarily delusion; perhaps it happened to you before in the relationship? Perhaps it happened in a different relationship? I don't know a single human being who hasn't been lied to. Those of us with trauma are VERY sensitive to our environments, especially in our interpersonal relationships. We don't want to be harmed, so our sensitivity is amp'd up and we look for signs of danger / threat. This is called hyper-vigilance and it is a byproduct of trauma. Some argue that hyper-vigilance is unhealthy - but it is not. It is a VERY important aspect of being human and will serve as a radar for protecting yourself against danger. In saying this, it makes perfect sense that you would be concerned about your Significant Other lying to you, especially if you have been lied to in the past. If this resonates with you, the goal for you would be to learn to discern what is happening in the present, from what has happened in the past. Sometimes we believe something is happening in the present (that happened in the past), because we become triggered and it FEELS the same. But feelings are not facts - they are just feelings.

My question for you is - what led you to believe that your Significant Other was lying to you? Perhaps in sharing your process of thinking - we can help you further. If you are unaware of what triggers you had - that is the first key to growth. You must become aware of your triggers so that you can learn how they impact you, how to prevent them from happening and how to react when they do.

When I was in DBT, medications were (generally) frowned upon because (according to DBT professionals) BPD is NOT a chemical imbalance, but rather, a result of trauma. This is being acknowledged more and more in the therapy world. Of course, this doesn't mean that those with BPD cannot also have a chemical imbalance, in which case medications might actually help. More and more, BPD is seen as a trauma induced disorder. The argument goes, that if you treat the core traumas - a lot of the symptoms found in BPD will deminish and or improve. That is the hope anyway.

I hope you have a good day,

Thanks,
HD7970ghz