I guess this is the right forum for this.

I have bipolar disorder, and unfortunately my illness (and past circumstances) have caused me to lose several friends in my life. I imagine people with other mental health issues have experienced the same. It's a sad situation, but in my case, I have grown used to that happening in my life, though there is still some hurt that lingers.

Pretty much every year, an old friend that had faded out of my life contacts me on my birthday. The contact is usually just "Happy Birthday! I miss you!" In past years, I'd get a little excited that she'd write "I miss you!" but when I'd respond to that, I usually heard nothing back. I then realized that that statement was empty.

So this year, as usual, she emails me on my birthday again. I then simply thanked her for the birthday wishes and wished her happy Mother's Day. She is a mother, but I'm not. I was going to just leave it at that. Then today I get another email from her saying "How on earth have you been? It would be wonderful to grab lunch together one day. How about the next time I'm working from home, we catch up over lunch? Are you up for that?" [She happens to live in the same town as me.]

I am very reluctant to answer. A little afraid to, because:

1. Things haven't been doing that well lately. Perhaps if they really were, it might be different if I could say so. I guess I could talk only about future plans that could be interesting-sounding, but the fact is, I'm still on disability and things are still tough.

2. I don't like the thought of saying yes, then not hearing back from her.

3. My husband doesn't like her, and has told me that she said something kind of hurtful about me once during one of my psych hospitalizations. He thinks she's superficial. She is, a little, but a lot of people are. I guess a concern I have is that she's gossiped about stuff to me about her best friend that I really think she shouldn't have. Knowing that, I think it's likely she's gossiped about me to others.

4. I feel a bit guilty, because I sort of reneged on a promise/offer to her and her husband years back.

5. She'll likely only be talking about her two daughters much of the time, and frankly, I really am not interested in them. Yea, I know that sounds horrible. Sorry!

However, I am in dire need of friendships. I have basically no one outside of family and other mental health support.

Even if I agree to meet the above-mentioned friend, it couldn't be until I feel a bit better. I don't know. Next week at the earliest?

What do people think about this? Can you relate to such a situation? If enough people think I shouldn't bother meeting with her, should I just ignore her email? Or perhaps say that it isn't a good time right now, and thank her for thinking about me. It's all so uncomfortable.