My own apartment - which I struggle to pay for because no one will hire me in good faith, and from which it is dangerous to leave thanks to everyone's irrational hatred.

This is not about what I "feel" - this is about what I can prove. I am unsafe because people do not believe I am human, do not believe I have the rights of a human, and believe they can do whatever they want to me because nothing about me matters. I am all but inanimate to them. They respect plants more.

I'm well aware of my hypervigilance; it is an asset. I also know other people don't have it, and that's why they are so slow and unaware. Without that difference in reaction time and alertness, I would be dead - murdered by the people who irrationally hate the "other".

Again, I can prove it is unsafe for me. "Feelings" are irrelevant.

I don't feel "alien" - I feel like a normal human being. The only hint of my alienation is the constant harassment and assault and name-calling of others insisting that I'm "alien". There's nothing wrong with me - it's my abusers who are disordered.

Not being able to understand me is no excuse for treating me badly. They have an responsibility to learn and if all else fails they can peacefully avoid me. I don't chase after them - they chase after me.

No, you don't. Every time I talk to you people, you make glaringly wrong assumptions about me.

That is complete horse manure.

First, most people treat me badly before they hear me speak or see me act. They start treating me badly as soon as they know I exist, without ever observing me before. They start treating me badly with only instinct driving them. This is not about my behavior. I spent forty years not reacting to you people and it didn't make an iota of difference. I only show my anger now because I can solidly prove it doesn't matter - I will be treated like garbage no matter how well I act, so there's no point in spending the extra resources to act a certain way and further shorten my life.

Second, that is no excuse for anyone to treat me badly; I react justly to their abuse - for them to "seek revenge" against their just punishment is beyond the pale. No one has any right to treat me badly no matter how I act, because I never do anything to others that isn't justly deserved. By abusing me unprovoked as a child, they forego any authority their own opinion on the issue may have - what they think doesn't matter. If they wanted their opinions to matter, they shouldn't have abused me; punishing them by stripping the value of their opinions is one of the only ways to curtail their abuse.

Human beings at large started abusing me when I was five years old and they have never stopped. There is literally nothing I could have done at five years old to justify their behavior at any time in my life. Their abusive behavior is unjustified - FULL STOP. They are behaving badly and no human being will stop behaving badly by themselves - they need an outside force to stop them. There is no internal instinct or drive that will stop a human being from misbehaving; they must be punished from without because they have no urge to moderate their behavior from within. Human beings have no internal controls - they are out of control until someone else controls them. That is why they are unsafe. My parents spent my entire childhood torturing those controls into me; that's why I have them now. Because no one else has tortured good behavior into other people, other people cannot be trusted - they lack the very basic elements of self-discipline.