This value thing.... It's so hard to deal with. It's so hard to start believing and really feeling that you have value when you have thought the opposite for such a long time. When your entire world view and what your brain see as logic is all based on the "fact" that you have no value. And you start treating yourself the same way the abusers treated/treat you. I found that when I talked to someone about self harm and other self destructive behaviour, we didn't understand each other at all. For them, the premise of everything they said and thought and found to be logic was that I had value (and that I thought so myself), and it was so obvious for them that they didn't even think about it. And for me the premise of the discussion would be that I didn't have any value. So what they presented as logical and reasonable made no sense to me. And I'm sure the other way around as well. So.…. I guess my point is, it's so deeply embedded in us that we don't realise how much it affects the way we see ourselves and our lifes.... And everything, really.