I went through a bad period like you describe. I had just come back from France, I had no money and didn't know how to go forward in my life. People around me seemed to take consumerism as the centre of their lives and I couldn't live up to that standard. I joined a writing group and wrote about it. I tried joining all sorts of other things. After long deliberation I took a very (ridiculously) expensive loan so that I could improve my home and then sell it.

I questioned myself and everything that I knew about myself. I felt desperate and crazy and that this was somehow my fault. But as an adult financial problems don't just go away and I was forced to keep fighting the challenges one day at a time.

I even looked for an inexpensive therapist but found only people who knew less about life than I did.

It was really hard. I felt terrible every time that I cam back from France. It was like a physical weight on me and I didn't understand why.

Now that has all changed. So I would say, "don't blame yourself. don't feel this is all your making. sometimes life is more difficult that we are prepared to tolerate - BUT STILL... humans are stronger than we think, and have a tremendous capacity to grow and learn"