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I was emotionally validated as long as those emotions were the same ones shared by my mother. If they were opposing then I was not allowed to have them.
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This is what happens with emotional neglect. It can happen without a parent really realizing it too. A parent may even mean well in thinking their child needs to feel the same way about things as they do. This can present confusion when it comes to how a person can develop their own emotional connections and bonding.
A parent can actually raise their child to become a codependent without even realizing it. Also, can raise their child to become emotionally confused and they look for a presence that can provide some kind of "unhealthy" guidance where they end up living with a person that like the parent is not capable of respecting their emotions. Notice I said "unhealthy", that's what often happens when a person grows up being emotionally neglected because the person has not experienced "normal healthy" so they don't really know what it is or even what it's supposed to feel like.
With all our technology that we have now a person can explore different kinds of groups of people and may end up having an "emotional affair" of some kind. It doesn't have to mean an emotional romance either, but instead more about finding others that can listen and hear our emotional challenges, emptiness, needs and fears. And honestly, most people that have their personal emotional challenges, just don't want to keep getting hurt.
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a feeling of deep emptiness— I don’t have this
It’s more this— , fear, lack of "belongingness"... never feeling as though I fit in anywhere, never really having any real sense of who I am.
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That is what the feeling of emptiness is about though Tisha.