You're NOT a bad person, sinking, and you're NOT any of those things you've said you are! I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad! The fact that P still wants to talk about you DOES mean that he truly cares about you in my opinion and that he DOES see value in you! I understand that getting closer to people may be scary, especially if you've been hurt in the past, but please DO give it a try! If you find out he isn't kind to you you can always leave before things get worse! Just try to go eat an ice cream with him, perhaps go to take a walk! As for you telling him about his hospitalization, you can always say that you don't want to talk about it at the moment. That's perfectly fair! He can't force you to do that and he HAS to respect your boundaries otherwise things won't work between you two! If you feel like you're not in the mood for talking about that, just tell him that. Perhaps you'll share it when you feel more comfortable around him and when you feel like you can trust him. There's no need to hurry! Take things slowly. Please do NOT hurt yourself as you're truly a valuable and wonderful person! I know it's true, we all know it's true, people in your life know it's true, there's only one person that needs to know it's true, and that's YOU! Be honest with your T and please DO tell her when you're feeling bad! If you feel like she may not be too helpful to you, perhaps DO consider seeing another one! That's just my opinion of course! REMEMBER THAT YOU MATTER! I hope you'll be able to believe that someday! Sending mnay safe, warm hugs to you, sinking, my dear, sweet friend!