Hi Gem,
I propose that all of this, while painful and confusing, is a good thing. Perhaps it is someone that has been "unknown" until this time. Or perhaps someone new. Either way...it makes perfect sense to me that it would be scary or distressing at first. And the "WHAT NOW!" reaction is strong. When a person is trying their best to bring together their pieces....it can be a kick in teeth when something new pops up. Maybe take a couple of deep breaths and say hello to the part? Ask what it might need... There is always hope. I think we just need to get used some surprises along the way, and to try not to beat ourselves up (too much) for whatever reaction arises.

FearLess47