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Xynesthesia2
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Default Jun 12, 2019 at 10:48 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by missbella View Post
Paradoxically, this guy has extensive writings on religion and ethical issues. That would have fooled me for a while as I'm sure it fooled others.
I have seen cases like that and it's not surprising to me, more something very ingrained in human nature and practiced quite frequently in smaller ways. For example, a well-respected and accomplished professor who did seemingly groundbreaking research on the biological factors underlying morality and our intrinsic, unconscious ability to distinguish right and wrong. He was caught to fabricate his data (published in high-impact journals) and eventually fired, his papers retracted etc. But he did that for over a decade. He just seem to have disappeared from the public eye. I also know of professors writing and teaching ethics that were caught and fired from their jobs. And religious leaders doing horrible things.

My first T was an example for those engaging in this kind of duality in smaller ways. I bought into it in the beginning for a few months (I had no experience with therapy then) but it became increasingly clear that he was absolutely not doing what he preached in his media, quite the opposite. He says all the right things about therapy but practices none or very little. That was one of the things I pointed out to him multiple times, one of those things that made him extremely angry and defensive. I said he wasn't very smart, but smart enough to make a whole career based on his natural tendencies and behaviors, turning his crappy acts into theories (mostly copying, he isn't creative enough to make his own) and advertising as therapy techniques. But he compromised his own image by not being able to control himself online and making it clear that those apparent "techniques" are just his effortless, natural behaviors. He also really lost it with me in the end and all the shite was out clear as day. Well, "out" in a small way, mostly between us and a bit on the web... but nothing big. I see now that he advertises quite desperately on/off on the web looking for clients and mentees (he also does supervision) - pretty sure he has had time finding work now.

I think there is a factor of identification in clients who associate with these guys and I've figured it from my own experience. I was originally drawn to my T in a period when my own responsibility and morals were very shaky, I also manipulated my environment a lot to get away with my own compulsions (addiction in my case). It was very clear from other social associations I had developed during those years - basically hooking up with people who kinda reflected the worst of me. The T of course would explain that as some sort of parental transference but it was nothing like that for me, it was hating some things in him that I hated the most in my own behavior when it happened. But it did not last because my personality / morals are not truly like that, it was mostly the side effects of active addiction for a few years, never before and not currently. Very easy for me to imagine that Ike's clients struggle with forms of this thing.
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Thanks for this!
koru_kiwi, Quietmind 2