View Single Post
Symbolic
Member
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 316
9
6 hugs
given
Default Jun 27, 2019 at 07:53 PM
 
I had an extreme case of AvPD where I barely left the house or interacted with others for over a decade. I was so concerned with what people would think of me, that I just didn't want to deal with their judgment. Earlier this year I finally had a mental health assessment, was diagnosed as having AvPD, and was told "it's all in your head, it's your own fault, there's nothing we can do for you, good luck." It was my worst case scenario come true.

A weird thing happened on my walk home that day. I realized that while being judged sucked, I really didn't care about the personal opinion of someone who spoke to me for 5 minutes. I decided to use the session as motivation and forced myself out of my own comfort zone. It was basically an "I turn to you for help, but you don't want to help me? Fine. Screw you, I'll help myself." It's taken time and patience, but I finally crawled out of the muck last month and got a job for the first time in years. I find the more I put myself in uncomfortable situations, the easier those situations become with time.

It's kind of weird suddenly having confidence after so many years trapped in my own home, and head. It's like I forgot that I had a choice to not let things get to me. I still go through stages where I'm a little withdrawn, but I find the more time I spend around people, the less introverted I become, and the more comfortable I am around others. It's... weird. Liberating, but weird.

If you deal with it, things can get better, so have hope and patience. If I can crawl out of the rut I found myself in, anyone can.
Symbolic is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
zapatoes
 
Thanks for this!
zapatoes