In general diets do not work for most people, which is understandable from an evolutionary standpoint.

Not to lose weight, but to be healthy and upbeat, why don't you walk one segment of your public transportation commute instead of riding it all the way? Also, do you have a FitBit or similar tracker to track your steps (not calories you eat, but steps, distance, heart rate)?

I think you made the long overdue decision to stop dieting.

Let me also suggest websites with clothing for plus size women, although at 190 you are only very moderately plus size, but still:

Gwynnie Bee

Woman Within

City Chic

Torrid

Roamans

Spend some time on the sites, even if you do not buy anything - you should surround yourself with images of healthy looking, smiling, highly positive and energetic plus size women.

Try to understand that our time on this Earth is very limited and should not be spent dieting. Try to learn to love the body you are in and start clothing that body in beautiful outfits. Also, learn ways to create visual illusions to make yourself look slimmer, such as having vertical lines (open cardigans, long vests, V-necks, very long necklaces).

Oh, any wine! Do you drink wine with your supper, 1 glass a day? Wine in this dosage improves health outcomes AND you would not feel like you are on a punishing diet, but rather that you are treating yourself well.