Hi there,

I believe my brother has BPD, and from what I have described, my therapist agrees.

My main problem with him is that he has what I call these 'rage attacks' against myself, and occasionally my mother, when he feels 'triggered' (his triggers are anything that reminds him of his father, step mother, and ex-wife abandoning him, or what he perceives as such, though he also rages when there is no apparent trigger).

His girlfriend told me that if I want to avoid that rage directed at me, I need to avoid using words and phrases with him that remind him of the above (though, as I said, he sometimes rages with no apparent trigger).

My question is this: How do I avoid his rage while also not relegating myself to walking on eggshells for him? I don't want to walk on eggshells, I want to have a relationship with him that is between myself and him, an honest relationship, where his relationships with others don't intervene. How can I avoid the rage without walking on eggshells?

Thanks...