How can I gain self confidence? I have never been confident. I think it has to do with my upbringing. I was criticized and punished all the time as a child from my parents, and bullied from other kids at school. I have had a very negative image of myself that I am a failure and no thing is going to work for me no matter what I try, so, I quit things easily. This has led me to a situation where I am currently jobless and with no friends and no relationship (I am completely alone and lonely), which makes me depressed and my spirit is totally crushed to try to do any thing. I just stay in bed having all this negative thoughts. How to gain confidence? What makes people confident? I try some positive self talk, but I know it's not true, because the evidence points to otherwise.