The thing to remember about toxic people is they don't WANT to see reality, they NEED to see things in a way where they have the CONTROL. They can be nice as long as they are getting things to go THEIR WAY. They like to see things where the positives could not happen without THEM too. So it's always someone else's fault when there are problems. It's the other person who is wrong not THEM.

I had/have been dealing with an older sister that I have discussed who could ONLY see things her way, needed ALL the control and would literally go into RAGES when things did not go HER WAY. Once someone goes into a rage it's ALL EMOTION and NO logic. That's when everything is run by the amygdala that pumps all the energy into fight mode where the frontal logical part of the brain is not functioning. It's a "blind" anger. For myself, it got to the point where if my sister "felt" her obsessive control was threatened she would go into a rage and did not even care WHO was there that could be frightened by her.

Often the response to that is "just ignore, don't allow" statements which can make it VERY hard for the victim in that often these very statements come from individuals who have not personally experienced this person who needs things to go their way otherwise they go into one of their rages not caring who is there seeing it happen.

If you experience a person who has a tendency to rage like this you can actually see their eyes glass over, it's like this person suddenly is not "there" . This is EXACTLY what is actually happening in their brain where it's suddenly being run by their amygdala that is pumping their body into fight mode and their logical part of their brain basically shuts down. You can actually see it in their body as well, and often the reaction from most normal human beings is to want to get away from this individual. Engaging a person who blows up like this only makes things worse in that the individual is at a point where all they are operating off of is anger (emotion) and logic isn't happening as that area of the brain is over ridden by all the emotion and anger.

What I have noticed about this state of mind is the raging individual wants a reaction so they can engage in "fight" and literally blow off all the buildup they are experiencing that is pumping them up with adreneline. I had to be the one who stayed calm and create distance, yet, even when I chose to do that my sister would come after me NEEDING to release her built up anger STILL not even being logical where a normal person would choose NOT to display this behavior in front of others.