I'm so sorry you had to endure such horrendous abuse. Below are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, that I thought might be apropos here. The first article talks about the author's journey to self-love following sexual abuse. And the second article lists 22 ways to love yourself more.

I think there is every reason to believe you will be able to find that special guy who will love & accept you. But right now what may be most important is to find a pathway to loving yourself so that you have the inner strength to steer clear of the wrong guy(s) & to be ready when the right guy comes along.

My Journey to Loving Myself Following Sexual Abuse

22 Ways to Love Yourself More | Happily Imperfect