Quote:
Originally Posted by saidso
@ divine1966 thanks again for your input on these forums. I find social, friendly, polite often gets interpreted as interest also. Your post reminds me that it's important to say out loud, "I am not interested in having another date". Ack, so simple and I don't know what blocks me from communicating correctly! Note to self once again.
I guess actually what stops me is that once all the hormones and love stuff start flowing I become ambivalent even when I know that I am not interested.
There is also ambivalence if we have common interests so I might want to carry on a friendship in future but not a date.
I have a load of work to do on friendships, relationships, boundaries and such yes/ no communication issues. Ack, and double ack, but thanks for the useful pointers  . |
Im glad you are finding it helpful! Sending you hugs
I have to say that sometimes being direct could be unsafe so there are times when it’s better to say something via electronic communication.
I once was on a very bad date and when I responded to him asking me on a second date politely declining, he behaved in a very aggressive manner. Luckily we were in a public place. But for a moment I thought “dang it I wish I didn’t endanger myself like this”.
When it’s not a relationship but just few dates it might be ok to say nothing since it could be unsafe to be direct! Especially if the other person is adamant they have some kind of feelings for me after just a date or a few! That could be scary