I don't have a lot of advice to give to you, @shakespeare47, unfortunately! Just remember that you're human and that humans makes mistakes. Focus on your future. Things can still improve. You can't change your past but you CAN change your future. That's important to remember in my opinion. Other than that I don't have much to offer you I'm here if you need support though. Feel free to PM me anytime, ok? I'll be here for you. Please try to be kind to yourself. Remember that everyone has good qualities with no exceptions. If you can only think about your flaws, then just remember that your flaws are an EXTENSION of your qualities. For every flaw you think of yourself there's also a quality. I hope that helps a little bit! Please hang in there and be kind to yoruself! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, shaekspeare47, and to ALL the people you Love and who TRULY Love you and Accept you for who you TRULY are! PLEASE NEVER GIVE UP HOPE AND KEEP FIGHTING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN!