I’ve realized the errors in my ways and want to change. But it never feels like the desire to change is strong enough to spark a reaction. This has been a constant struggle in my life. Whether it’s wanting to learn something new, loose weight (I’m morbidly obese), or change old mental habits. I just can’t seem to change. The desire is there and I do make a change for a little bit. But surely enough I revert to my old ways and effectively start off at square one again. I’m not gaining any ground. Whether I lose weight I always gain it back. I give up if something I’m trying to learn if doesn’t click right away. I start to put up barriers even though I just got rid of them. This is maddening to me. I must be doing something wrong.